He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
