i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
