what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
