Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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