Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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