Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
