i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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