Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
