you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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