I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Come share oat with me in your robe
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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