im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
