also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
