Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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