great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
