It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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