So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize