Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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