Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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