Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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