its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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