So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
