Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
