I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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