I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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