I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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