I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
