Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
