I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
