I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
