in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
