after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
