OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
