id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
