The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm too high and old for this...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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