my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
