I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize