You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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