i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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