his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
