woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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