Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
