Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
