was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
