Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
