Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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