.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
