I'm really into asian looking animals
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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