my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
