And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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