hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
