I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
