her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
