so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
