I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
