so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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