drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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