I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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