He is such a slut. More and more my type.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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