Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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