How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
