I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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