mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize