I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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