i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
