Please, let me fuck your mom
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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