my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
