we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
