what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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