McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You dont lie about slip and slides
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize